I’m not always humble
But I know how
It is part of my journey.
One thing: God wants to hear your real voice and real emotions, then He waits to hear the word in your mouth: for nothing changes without God’s word.
Lord, I’m enjoying the journey, thank You for sticking with little ol’ me. I always remind myself that although I may look puny, there’s nothing puny about the God who backs me. He’s majestic, jealous for me. He has all the attributes of an earthly father and more. He’s absolutely dependable.
There’s a scripture that says, “submit yourself under the mighty hand of God…”
It comes right before “resist the devil and he will flee from you”.
Many preachers have preached that until you submit you can’t resist the devil.
It might be true, the inference, in fact it is most likely true. But that was not what mattered to me when I learned how to submit.
What mattered was that there was a scripture called submit yourself under the mighty hand of God.
I had chosen to follow Jesus so I was willing to submit to God. After following God, using your mouth to declare that you have given Him the rule over your life, is it His word you now want to be disobeying, which kain following be that?
At the time I had only experienced emotional healing and the baptism of the Holy Ghost and it was enough.
You know, I was in a place where if God didn’t give me anything more, that peace that came with Jesus coming into my life was enough. It was tangible, the peace.
One of the most powerful things I received from the LORD is peace. I knew the peace of God ever before I encountered it in the bible. It was much different from the turmoil. The peace got stronger when I worshipped. I loved the songs and the worship atmosphere and loved to sing along with the church because it washed away the stress of the whole day. It eclipsed everything else that had been happening till then. Worship was better than alcohol or drugs. We used to joke then in college that nothing can take you higher than the Holy Ghost.
Till date, majority of my codes are peace, the Holy Spirit of God, divinity etc. You can’t hack my accounts without encountering God. You will be confessing Him as Lord just to hack the account and after you’re done, there’s no place on earth you will be able to hide, God will find you out.
I used to think when I wrote about God, what came across was my love for God and more obvious His love for me. I’ve been accused on Facebook more than once that I think I’m God’s favourite child.
Been misunderstood is part of life.
I was a bit hurt when I read that and I thought, Tessa, maybe you’re overdoing it. Maybe you should tone it down a bit.
I’m wondering why s/he doesn’t understand that it is my story and I should not be hesitant or afraid to share it or feel stifled from sharing it. It is my story, it is my witness of God’s love for me and no one can ever understand it like I do even though they may get glimpses of how God has been good to me. Glimpses!
I and the Holy Ghost, have our point of view. They will be looking from the outside in.
I might not have all that I want but God has been so gracious and good to me and mine, that’s the hand He has shone me, He’s been good to me more than I deserve. He just wouldn’t let go.
I’m an intellectual. I’m not someone who would ordinarily be found in church or even attend church, being in church circles is God’s divine orchestration and not the plan of any man. Not mine. Not anyone else. Except they are intercessors. It is not a plan that you can plot with ordinary head. Head knowledge is so limited.
I can single handedly plan my life and not include church in it. The reason why church is important to me in anyway, is because God values the church and He has shown that to me.
I have a personal revelation of who God is to me. I don’t know who He is to other peeps but I know who He is to me, that I have experienced.
My sister used to joke, she would say, “what we have touched and handled…”
It’s somewhere in the book of John 1, 2 or 3.
I used to be the kind of girl who never believed in what anyone had to say because I was brilliant, intelligent, everything was perfect, in my own eyes. I was living according to my rules, not bad or anything but I enjoyed calling the shots, getting my way, so really, what do you have to say that can sway me?
Living according to what God says hasn’t been easy but I’m convinced he’s not just hanging in the pages of the bible but a real sovereign God who’s interested in you and I. He wants sons and daughters.
In many ways, I am still that girl but in many ways, I am the girl who moved the hand of God and the heart of God. I never intellectually believed God. I made Him promise to keep His word to me before surrendering my life to Him. I heard Him promise, then I surrendered so it wasn’t a mental assent.
I use my head for text books not for the bible. There are so many things my head would never accept in the bible, like walking on water, or distributing the 5 bread and 2 fishes to the 4000 and the 5000 (what explanation would science give to that, in case you don’t know, I’m a qualified cell Biologist so my brain speaks science but not my heart), or word of knowledge.
In college, when my pastor used to give word of knowledge at the speed of a bullet, I will just be wondering, who is this guy?
Then on my way home, I would promise myself I would never go there again.
Why? I was pissed.
There was always one word of knowledge or even three about me in every meeting.
Afterwards I used to ask, God are you haunting me? What is the point of all this, 1000 people in a room, 100 people in a room and you want to talk about me.
I has just gotten saved. I would tell Him, you said give me your life and I have given but I didn’t bargain for this publicity, please give me my privacy.
Lol!
God has long won my heart.
Some days, I’m thirsty for a word from God to me and other days, I say, just let me rest, please.
Of all the things I have come to know about God, one thing has stood out. He is good, His thoughts towards me/you are good, you never have to fear. He works after the counsel of His will
You don’t have to pass an exam or pass muster for Him to do you good. His nature is good.
P.S
Shout out to my pastor for teaching me the nature of God. Shout out to the Holy Ghost for letting the message stick.
I had the attention span of a child at the time and a huge craving for entertainment. Remembering is a miracle in itself.
Shout out to my parents for teaching me honesty, integrity, & merit.
The corruption in Nigeria can drive you nuts if you’re not rooted in God. Those kind of people are scarce and my parents succeeded in raising them.
With all their faults, they have stronger principles and values than many Christians and it’s sad.
I always say, as much as the Holy Ghost worked in me closely, I am the Christian I am because of the people God led to me or led me to.
He yet leads me. I will stay where He has led me.
I love hearing from you, good or bad. Caring is sharing!
Diary of a 21st century Christian 