I remember mouthing off on Facebook and someone said, Tessa, do a faith series.
My heart fell inside my chest lol! I said, no. This is not my direction. I just want to live my life and just do the random thing. Live a life in the media, just not in front of the camera if I can help it. Live a good Christian life that pleases God, not just one that gets me in conflict with the body of believers. I use that word loosely cos church life is not easy for me. I love to avoid responsibility because there’s always more. You can’t set the limit. Live a life that is meaningful; just not have to deal with people and their nosiness and their idiosyncrasies and their flesh. You know sometimes I just want to be and my mom won’t let me be, my sisters won’t let me be, my family oooooohhh ughhhhr How I love them, How they get on my nerves cos I can’t set the limits.
For me, faith doesn’t have a definition. Faith was God telling me ‘I am’ and I was like, ‘so what, you’re late, don’t bug me’. Three months later I was saved. What was faith after that? Faith was spending time with God, speaking to Him, worshipping, running from my fears and finding the one who had the answers. I remember being sarcastic and unbelieving even in my unbelieving. I remember the Holy Ghost waking me up to pray (I’m so lazy now, that has to change) giving me words to say not just tongues but real words, giving me scripture that I had never read before. My first bible was a teen study bible, I read it cover to cover (as did most of my friends) it was just so interesting and it answered so many questions in my language it seemed.
After college faith was getting to NYSC and coming back, the Holy Ghost has a way of sending people. He cushioned me to and fro and made arrangements I knew nothing about for me to be taken care of from accommodation to feeding to friends to church to leisure (I played volley ball during my NYSC year, I was one of the best in the team). Faith was having fun working for the first time in my life and still I met God’s servants in far away Ondo, forever advising. By now I had learned to just say, ‘Thank you sir or thank you ma, amen’.
After service faith was doing the right thing as usual even though I wasn’t sure why, I mean few people do the right thing anyway but oh well, my nudging says, right direction.
Faith was having dreams, not many people trust them, but what the heck make your choice, I will make mine. Faith is having dreams; I still have them, and following instructions. Why because if I didn’t follow instructions, would I follow my head?
Faith is following the step by step process God has laid down if you follow the last step. Last step? Do I skip some steps? More like stumble on some if I am not spiritually alert? Am I spiritually alert? Am I jumbled up? Am I weak?
I don’t judge after the hearing of my eyes or the seeing of my eyes. I am on the right track. My words matter so darn much because my words are my faith. I may not always be conscious of what I am saying but my internal compass works just fine. The inward witness, hmmm hmmm, na you biko, you are Lord. Who can take Your place? There is none besides thee and none to be compared with thee.
The Holy Ghost is the greatest teacher
What is faith?
It is not the self righteousness I sometimes feel, it is the righteousness of God and the confidence that comes with knowing I have it.
Back to work, on Wednesday I should write something more